[kikicoco1334]

Saw this and thought about superman XD

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk, you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure as hell not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their pants so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: you may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “Barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: “Early.”

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like the dishes, or changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goosedown parka – zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks’ homes are better.

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your going out and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not f#%k with me.

http://fb-troublemakers.com/cops-rul...daughter-2305/

[Kal-EL]

My rules are different:

1: You must be gainfully employed and pay an up front commitment fee of $200 to show your long term commitment.

2: The current rate for dating is $50 per hour you spend on each date, $25 per hour you spend in my living room. Each dollar goes toward my daughters college expense.

3: If you want access to my daughter's bedroom the rate jumps to $100 per half hour. $200 per half hour if the door should happen to close.

4: If you are stupid enough to impregnate my daughter, rate jumps to %50 of your total income x 21 years or death, whichever occurs first.

5: From time to time my daughter may become upset with you, each offense will result in a one week 10% penalty increase.

6: Should you choose to break up with my daughter, you must notify me two weeks in advance of the breakup during which time penalty fees will be waved and you may screw up multiple times. Out of home dates will be prohibited, room access denied. Flat rate severance fee of $25. "I dated a cop's daughter" pin parting gift complimentary.

LOL something like that!

[DOM]

Originally Posted by Kal-EL

My rules are different:

1: You must be gainfully employed and pay an up front commitment fee of $200 to show your long term commitment.

2: The current rate for dating is $50 per hour you spend on each date, $25 per hour you spend in my living room. Each dollar goes toward my daughters college expense.

3: If you want access to my daughter's bedroom the rate jumps to $100 per half hour. $200 per half hour if the door should happen to close.

4: If you are stupid enough to impregnate my daughter, rate jumps to %50 of your total income x 21 years or death, whichever occurs first.

5: From time to time my daughter may become upset with you, each offense will result in a one week 10% penalty increase.

6: Should you choose to break up with my daughter, you must notify me two weeks in advance of the breakup during which time penalty fees will be waved and you may screw up multiple times. Out of home dates will be prohibited, room access denied. Flat rate severance fee of $25. "I dated a cop's daughter" pin parting gift complimentary.

LOL something like that!

where do i get my application

[Kal-EL]

Originally Posted by DOM

where do i get my application

Due to the volume of applicants we are not accepting new sign ups at this time.
However, we do have a female Great Dane in heat if you're on a budget.

[DOM]

Originally Posted by kikicoco1334

DOM stfu before i call your wife!

and wow superman lol!

it was a joke lil girl lol

Originally Posted by Kal-EL

Due to the volume of applicants we are not accepting new sign ups at this time.
However, we do have a female Great Dane in heat if you're on a budget.

[Neuromancer]

Originally Posted by Kal-EL

Due to the volume of applicants we are not accepting new sign ups at this time.
However, we do have a female Great Dane in heat if you're on a budget.

Why didnt Dom repeat his question?? LOL

I didnt know that US law allowed cops to pimp their daughters, or great danes for that matter. Hey though for the latter I bet you could still be a professional athlete

[Kal-EL]

Originally Posted by Neuromancer

Why didnt Dom repeat his question?? LOL

I didnt know that US law allowed cops to pimp their daughters, or great danes for that matter. Hey though for the latter I bet you could still be a professional athlete

DOM's checkin Craigslist now...

[kikicoco1334]

DOM stfu before i call your wife!

and wow superman lol!

[kikicoco1334]

Kind of like this?

[punx223]

I just want the pin